Study says programmers quickly forget about F1 key

Concerned by productivity decreasing over time, multiple software companies ordered a study to find the reason why their programmers lack some basic skills when it comes to software development. It turns out that, instead of using manuals or provided help within their IDEs by simply hitting F1, programmers prefer to ask questions regarding sorting algorithms, printf() syntax and more on stackoverflow,  quora, reddit or 4chan. Conclusions of the study were as follows.

Typical questions asked by programmers:

  • How to optimize resources when it comes to toilet paper usage?
  • How to pair socks from a pile efficiently?
  • What is the color code in CSS for glossy white color?
  • How can you compile in notepad++?
  • Why is there a “chucknorris” color in html5?
  • What’s the difference between JavaScript and Java?
  • Help! My boss asked me to finish this today, but have no idea how to write code.
  • 0 is false and 1 is true, right?

Typical answers provided to programmers:

  • 1
  • You’re a n00b.
  • Quit your job as programmer and start working at McDonald’s.
  • Your sisters knows better how to do programming.
  • Why you do this in X, do it in Y programming language, it’s easier.
  • I’ve done this is 3 bash lines, so quit Windows and start using Linux.
  • I’m drunk now, but once I sober up, will provide you with a solution.

Other conclusions of the study:

  • asm programmers don’t ask questions, they write it in c and copy-paste the reversed code in their projects.
  • c++ developers consider all other programmers and being lazy and n00bs
  • c developers have no class
  • ruby developers quit their jobs right after finishing the project in order not to maintain it
  • php developers spend more time fighting with DBAs than coding
  • java developers have a very long delay into providing responses.
  • cobol or fortran developers are mostly on life support or their testaments are currently being read.
  • pascal programmers don’t know what year it is
  • javascript developers don’t write code anymore, there’s already a library doing everything
  • C# programmers never wear glasses, the IDE autocompletes the code for them
  • SQL programmers always ask if they can join a topic


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