Nigerian prince in depression because nobody accepts his donations

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Royal medical team of Nigeria is deeply concerned regarding the health of the well-known Nigerian prince. It was brought to our attention that the prince tried to conduct a funding campaign for more than a decade now, for various people from around the world. The campaign consisted in offering millions of dollars to all kind of people who would volunteer to help the prince withdraw the money from his bank accounts, as he couldn’t carry the money himself due to monetary weight.

As it turned out, there were very few people who responded to the prince’s call, despite his continuous efforts to convince people to accept his donations. This situation affected the prince’s health who considers that his efforts were in vain and his generosity¬† not well understood.

I tried everything I could. I have send millions of emails, tried to call people, but just a bunch of guys answered. I have stayed very late at night, inside my one-room castle, with my Fiber Optic dial-up connection on, sending emails, posting on forums, on various chat rooms. People do not understand me, people do not know I want to do good for them, to give them money. I do not need these money, I have a lot and I am bored of it. If every contacted person in the world would accept my millions, the effects of global economic crisis would vanish.” said the prince to our reporter.

On the other side, his psychiatrist depicted his situation: “It’s a very difficult time for our prince and situation tends to get worse. If people do not respond to his requests, we might need to find other means to put his plans in practice as he is very determined and dedicated to helping people. We already thought to give people “this-is-definitely-a-winning” lottery tickets, give them “do-nothing-get-well-paid” jobs, help them in case FBI contacts them with various orders and so on. This way the prince will get the feeling that he does good to society and himself, he will feel useful again.

After deep research, we managed to get in touch with a guy who was clever enough to respond to the prince’s call. We asked him to give some feedback regarding his experience: “Well, it was unexpected. Giving the fact that I never won anything in my life, receiving the notification from the prince that he offers me 10 000 000$ was a very big surprise. I started dancing in my living room of joy and my wife was surprised, too. I pulled some good and smooth dancing moves, you know? I am a very big fan of Harlem Shake. So, told my wife, agreed to prince’s offer and sent him from our accounts few thousands dollars to cover bank fees. It was at least we could do, right? After some time, we did receive the money. Can you imagine? 10 000 000$ ! Now we both danced! We got the money in suitcases! Can you imagine? Like businessmen! What we noticed different from the usual daily dollar was that the color was brown and the printing of the money was a little odd, the ink sticks to hands and fingers when handling them. But this is no issue, we can deal with that! We have big plans now, like investments, buying stuff and more. God bless the prince!

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