Geneticists discovered new human evolution step is taking place due to usage of smartphones

According to a new study conducted by geneticists from Clipperton Island and confirmed by scientists from International University of Internet and Memes, humans are currently experiencing a new biological/genetically evolution transition. Due to increasingly usage of technology on day to day basis, anatomical modifications of human body do appear.

The most obvious change pattern appear to people who take a lot of selfies with their smartphones. The pattern consists in:

  • shrink of neurons and brain mass
  • relocation of head from top of the body to chest due to large amount of time checking phone if it’s the perfect selfie and number of social media posts
  • longer right arm which borrows selfie stick functionality
  • higher and unreasonable self-esteem

The members of the new subspecies are called “Homo sapiens selfius”.

Below is a picture of one of the study subjects who show these signs of evolution:

Asked by our reporters what’s his daily life like, the subject who wanted to remain anonymous said: “It’s very nice that I managed to evolve in such way, it’s easier to check my selfies, to see who share and like them, no need to raise phone closer to my eyes. Also, there are a lot of other advantages, for example I don’t need spoons and forks, I can eat directly from my plate with my mouth; I don’t hit my head on top door frame, LOL”.

Dr. P. Ennis, lead scientist on the study, gave us the heads-up on a new breakthrough: “Homo sapiens selfius is already old news. An even more evolved collective of individuals emerged, with even more prominent anatomical changes: head between their legs, lack of brain cells and inability to get a job. The mainĀ reason behindĀ  evolution in such cases is the continuous habit of taking d*ck pics.”

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